Why Ugandan men suck!

So many women are sick and tired of Ugandan men.

Ugandan women are often overheard using the phrase, “I’m sick and tired of Ugandan men”. It is time for that to be explained in detail. Are Ugandan men really as terrible as some women seem to think they are?

First of all, a man is not Ugandan until he has spent a good portion of his life spending money on women. Not just his girlfriend or his wife. All women, if the opportunity is presented to him.

Brenda Kansiime is a second year student at Kampala International University and confessed that a lot of her meals and night outs are ‘sponsored’ by guys she isn’t seeing and won’t remember after a space of five seconds.

“My roommate is very beautiful and boys are always taking her out”, she explained. “She always takes us out with her and the guys want to impress her, so they include us on the bill”.

Now what kind of man would allow himself to be taken advantage of in this manner? A gentleman? A fool? Neither.

This leads us to another disgusting trait of Ugandan men. That is the solid belief that this lady upon whom they are showering their ‘love and affection’ not only owes them something, but will pay dearly for it in the future as well.

Peter Barigye (not real name) works at a prestigious accountancy firm. What he had to say was shocking to the core.

“This girlfriend of mine thinks I’m stupid, but I’m biding my time”, he assured me. “One night I spent 200,000 shillings on her and her friends and she gratefully told me that now she knows how much ‘I love her’. Just wait until the ring is on her finger. I’m going to leave her in the house to take care of the children and enjoy my other women. That is how women deserve to be treated”.

At least Peter is intending to marry the girl. Others just want sex. Sheila Kagugube recounted an astonishing experience she had when a male friend offered her his house to live in as she was facing dire circumstances. After about six months, it eventually dawned on him that in her eyes, he was ‘just a friend’.

“I came home in the evening, and it was raining”, she recalled, still visibly shocked by what she found.

“This man had thrown all my property out of the house. Out of the gate! My laptop, my television, my clothing, everything was out there in the rain, and in the open for anyone to pick”.

This is just an example of how Ugandan men do not regard women as independent-thinking human beings but as property to be used and disposed of at will.

Let’s talk marriage, for instance. A man will not marry a woman for her fine intellect. Oh no. That may be what he thinks but he and the woman in question are actually deluded. Like the proverbial African male, he will look for someone who is ‘presentable’ to his family. Nice and healthy, with hips big enough to ensure that the eventuality of bearing children is attainable.

Prossy, a very skinny and plain looking girl from Northern Uganda, had been dating a lawyer for three years, but had always wondered why she never met his family or his friends. She always felt like she was being kept in the closet. She turned out to be right on point when she learned he was marrying a tall, brown and buxom Munyankore girl.

“I confronted him, and can you imagine what he told me?” Prossy lamented. “He said there was no way in the world he could take someone like me to meet his mother. But he said he loved the way I ‘thought’ and could we still remain lovers in secret”?

Unfortunately, women are not viewed as trophy objects in romantic relationships alone. It even happens in familial ones. A woman has the responsibility to do as her family wants or she will be deemed a disgrace and disowned. It is always harder on the girl than the boy when any ‘misbehavior’ occurs.

Here’s the perfect example. What happens when a young man announces he has gotten a girl pregnant? To the man, apart from a few vague complaints about the extra financial expense, nothing! The girl however, faces an entirely different scenario.

Jane learned she was pregnant in the final year of her university studies. Despite her mother’s pleas, her father, who ironically enough is a pastor, threw her out of the house. She lived for a year and a half on the charity of friends and her child frequently fell ill because she could not afford to give it the nutrition it needed.

“After all that suffering, I eventually got a very well paying job”, she bitterly remembered. “When my father realized how much I could contribute to the family financially, he welcomed me back. But I only agreed for the sake of my mother. Because of my father, I shall always look at men skeptically”.

One cannot talk about the bad habits of Ugandan men without taking into account the fact that they seem to think the bodies of all women are there to fondle as they please. This is in reference to taxi drivers, conductors, market vendors and a few fools in the corporate structure.

Lillian was in a taxi one day, seated next to the driver when he suddenly and deliberately put his hand all the way up her skirt, attempting to stroke her private parts.

“I was livid and my first reaction was to beat him to within an inch of his life”, she complained. “But I knew that if I did so, the other men would attack me. No one in Uganda understands the depth of sexual assault. Women are expected to accept it or complain just a little”.

Lillian was lucky. Melanie is an American who used to live in Uganda. One fateful day, she used a boda boda to take her home. The rider raped her right outside her gate before quickly taking off. The rape alone was not enough to traumatize Melanie.

“I called a friend to drive me to the police station, because I knew the stage where I had gotten the rider”, she said. “The police asked me why I had been out at two in the morning”.

Melanie broke down and left the station in tears. In a week, she had left Uganda, and has vowed never to return.

And then there are the men whose mamas didn’t teach them the merits of handling their business. These men are clueless about the knowledge that it is primarily their job to provide for their families, get off their behinds and do some work and show an example. One needs to interview no one for this. Newspaper stories are rife with reports of women bringing in all the money and the men squandering it on drink. Or a wife cooking food and the husband beating, or even killing, her and the children for taking the ‘good piece of meat’. Or any of the meat for that matter.

A few days ago, I passed a garbage pickup truck and people shoveling the garbage from the heap onto the truck. Two women were working, and the men were resting under a tree. Twenty minutes later, I passed by and the women were bitterly quarrelling with the men for letting them do all the work. The men’s response was typical: “Do you know there are African tribes where only the women work? Show some respect for us and remember your roots”.

Obviously these chaps are good fans of the Congo pygmies’ societal ‘roots’, where women do all the carrying of heavy loads when any journey is to be undertaken.

Phillip is a biologist who believes that Ugandan men take being simple minded to a whole new level. “I have a lot of friends who are unable to save and plan for even just one rainy day”, he asserted. “They also lack discipline and the ability to see things through to the end. In short, I doubt the number of ‘Steve Jobs’ we can get out of these lazy chaps”.

John, an architect with a local firm concurred. In his opinion Ugandan men are kind and honorable. The problem with that is they are also reserved, shy and lack the distinct ability to speak up and grab what they want.

“A little aggression, especially in the market place, is important”, insisted John. “Just check out service delivery in Kenya. It’s, ‘I want this NOW’. No ‘ifs’, ‘buts’ or ‘whens’.”

Let’s sign off with the most glaring, most annoying thing about Ugandan men. So much so that there is only so much one can write about it.

Why are HIV infections spreading among married couples today? Because Ugandan men do not even have the decency to use a condom when they cheat.

And look at our ‘celebrities’: Ghetto President Bobi Wine having a child with another woman while publicly romantically tied to his soon-to-be wife, Barbie. Sad.

Ugandan men can give cheating men all over the world a run for their money. Over and out.

By Lindsey Kukunda

  • Angel Kemigisha

    Hahahahahaha….for sure Ugandan men suck if what I have just read is what describes them.

  • Rahab Namono

    For sure I have seen such kind of men. They need to style up and behave like gentlemen.

  • Trizer Nabwire

    Women should never date such men. For sure they suck!!!!

  • Oratile

    I’m a South African woman who has a child with a Ugandan man and I must just say he is as good as useless. Sad also, that he plays quite the good public image but has never contributed a cent towards his son’s upbringing. He has never even enquired about him. This broke my heart but had to finally get over it.

    This same man is a ‘public figure’

    • I think this story is incomplete. Why don’t you tell us how you met this man.. I’m sure he could have just cheated on his true love with you which is why he is not taking you seriously. It’s not a Ugandan mens’ thing, it’s an “all mens'” thing!

  • Team UK

    It is rather sad to hear Ugandan women describe their men!!!. For the start Ugandan women don’t understand what really dating is about. How can someone bring a whole dozen of friends to a dating night??. Are you dating one person or a team??. But this was in view of the detoothing habits by Ugandan women, they would even bring their brothers on a date night.
    For people who have travelled dating is a two way traffic where both parties show interest of what is happening between the pair of them, because if anything comes out of it, its based on the decisions of the two and not a team of them. This brings me to a conclusion that Ugandan women offer themselves to all sorts of Toms, Dicks and Harrys!! Look at the Chinese men now!!, its appalling. its even worse abroad, they have kids with men they will never even know their home countries and the kids are more less fatherless.

  • winnifred

    Winnifred, Uganda
    its indeed very and very sad which is even scaring the young girls who in the future wants to be mothers. That’s why many women nowadays are really n really studying so that they be some way in a position of providing for them selves and also a delay in marriage. it is really so upsetting bringing in many questions in women’s mind these days as well as forecast of what tomorrow will be pertaining the lifestyle of our Ugandan’s men. Lord have mercy on us we Ugandans who are soon becoming mothers, fathers n particularly parents to make the future enjoyable , lovely , peacefully to mention but a few to your creatures as you said we multiply!!!!!

  • All of this is true but also completely circumstantial. Speaking for my myself and for all Ugandan men.

    The writer should leave us alone (LOL).

    Most of the story actually applies to all men world over. We are all jerks in away till we outgrow it. For some the process just takes abit longer.

    Any real man out there after leaving his parents home will struggle to sustain his independence, while at the same time enjoying the freedom that comes with it. This means we will hook up with a couple of ladies first for fun then later for commitment.

    Writing out of experience, most times how we treat ladies depends on two main things. Our intentions for them (commitment vs hook up) and the impression they give us (respectable vs dissolute). What happens after that can only be defined by both parties morality.

    We are all raised from different cultures, Ugandan, Kenyan, Pygimies, Tanzanian name a few. What the writer neglected to write because of her myopic view is that society tends to get the best of us, especially the ones who were completely bred with in the structures.

    So it’s not very uncommon for some men to want to please these structures by finding someone that the community wants. Don’t blame the man, you wanted him raised a good boy.

    Unlike the few good “Ugandan” boys out there some of us are completely honest with ourselves and so set out to find women who will help us develop into better men. Not the selfserving, ignorant ones that think the world owes them a favour. We also tend to avoid the ones that think simply being a woman is enough.

    At the end of the day any man’s actions are influenced or motivated by someone he/something cares he trully cares about, at the early stages of immaturity the motivation will be his ego and at later stages mostly by the one woman in his life.

    So blame should be aportioned equally. There are a couple of great Ugandan guys who have done great things.

    • Malaika

      One thing with ugandan men they love to constantly blame the opposite gender. A woman gets raped and they will blame the level of her skirt or time she gets home, a father defiles his daughter and theyll blame mothers fr leaving their beautiful daughters with fathers etc ugandan men dnt take responsibilty fr their vile actions no they blame the woman. She must hv smthing tht made him do another thing. Even wen a man cheats he will say its coz of smthin his wife is. You constantly feel that women owe you something. Yu shudnt have to treat a woman respectfully due to two things but due to the fact that shes simply a person. Women are not objects. U shudnt respect a woman less jus because ur hooking up with her yu too could be her hookup of the day. Yur comment litrary proves the writer right about everything shez said. As a woman i think men should know that basing ur character acvording to whose motivating you shows the type of person yu are. Ur sayin yu cant be a good man on ur own. That yu need some perfect angelic woman to show yu how to be a good real man. Thts a weakness. There are no perfect angelic women created for you. Women werent created for ur moral uplift or to uphold ur fragile masculinity. U either the man the writer is talking about or a good man and thats on you, u are responsible fr tht not some woman in ur life. You dont owe ur vile character on any woman….. and simply being a woman is not a deneaning thing. Would u want her to be a woman and a man at the same tym? Or do yu expect her to be a perfect humanbeing perhaps some type of flawless angel. Shez a woman and being a woman is many things and many strengths. Explain wat yu wud understand if i said women dont want a man who is simply a man. I think you should change ur mindset… you need feminism in ur life.

  • Malaika

    Am seeing men posting that the story applies to all men. I think its demeaning for men to think such about themselves. Its not in the nature of a man to be a cheat, to be disrespectful of himself en society around him, to be a rapist, or a very bad quality of a human being. To say this is to confirm how small minded you can be as a man. Its not a mans nature and to think so is what we call toxic masculinity. The type of masculinity tht most ugandan men are brought up into to think that being a real man requires you to be this vile, violent, intolerant human being. It is cultures and traditions and society tht engraves this stereotype into boys and they grow up with this vile to-do-list of how they supposed to be as men. Ive heard men saying to other men ” you aint a real man if you dnt treat a woman a certain way, or react a certain way, or be a certain way. Men are then stuck doing these thing just to prove their masculinity en thts toxic.
    The reason women rarely act tht way is we too are victims of society social standards from a young age you are held responsible fr the same actions that men are constantly praises for. Yu are punished for the same reason a man is congratulated. Fr example its not tht women dont desire to sleep around its that from girlhood you are punished by society for wanting sex buh a man congratulated for wanting sex. A woman will be shamed for sleeping with a man but for a man its another conquest. So to men in this discussion sayin its a “male” nature you are actually disgracing urselves. These are negative social constructs put by society and you are allowing them to define you as men. U are litrary saying that you accept to be vile, disgusting sexual predators… yu are accepting ignorance and so you are subjects of society tht has taught you to constantly fail your true nature… its nothing to be proud of… its disgraceful to masculinity. #all ugandan men can do better.